Baby Rocky Poem - Wisdom Stew Mix

First name Benjamin, second name Rocky
Some call me confident, others call me cocky
with such a name, I might turn out brawny,
Ain't no way I'll end up scrawny.
You don't mess with the Rock, do you smell what he's cookin'?
I can catch up to you, even if you're bookin'
But my parents won't let me be no bully,
They'll ensure that I blossom fully

From the first time I laid eyes on my daddy, I thought he was a hunter-gatherer,
and maybe possibly also not much of a latherer
But I know he will love me, and I'll do my best to behave, man
even as I suppress the urge to call you "Captain Caveman!"
When I laid eyes on my mommy, I knew I had been smiled upon by fate,
but I did start to wonder if it was because of her I was born two weeks late
I know she'll love me and give me all her attention;
and if need be, I'll let her win in Settlers in order to relieve a little tension.
Mommy, I'm already looking forward to when you drive Daddy around in a motorbike,
I hope you guys join a gang that you like
When I'm old enough, I might want to join, too
Although I might need a special-sized helmet, according to you.

Daddy hopes I'll be a biker, or maybe a runner, or maybe a hiker.
Together one day we can do the Appalachians,
or maybe we can climb the highest mountain in the nation.
What's it called? - oh yeah, Mt. McKinley
After all, my daddy looks like Arctic man, William Penly
Paps wants me to be a big leaguer like Bob Brenly,
while Mommy just wants me to be fun and friendly.

I know my family will take great interest in my development,
by the time I start school, I will be in my element.
For such a great family, I need to thank my lucky stars,
even if Daddy is overdoing already by teaching me how to roll my R's
All I wanna do is get some Z's
drink a little milk, and then poop and pee.
Daddy, I don't mean to be a hater, but there's time enough for those rolled R's later.
I mean, I want to learn all about life, love, and the Cupid's arrow,
So why are you so interested in getting me to say "Perrrrro"?
Please stop trying to get me to perform these odd tasks,
why don't you listen to a few more Bill Simmons podcasts...
No, Daddy, I'm just playin' - I want to be wise like you.
So tell me, can you combine your wisdom and serve it up in a stew?

Mommy and Daddy, I am excited to be here on earth,
I'm glad God chose you for my birth
I don't know how it all works, but He wanted you both to be my Daddy and Mommy,
if I had other parents, my name might have been Kwame
I might have been born in Italy, eating salami...
But I wouldn't have had it any other ways,
God has blessed me in these few days.
Here's to hoping the Tigers see playoff action against the Tampa Bay Rays.
Dad, grow your hair out till I graduate-let's vote as a family - 1 no, 2 yea's

Wait just a minute - Dad, what happened to your hair?
Looks like Mommy's vote carries twice the weight, but that seems fair.
What? - you did it for a snickers bar?
I hope it really satisfied, and the energy took you far
Because Guinness Records ain't callin' if you ain't got the locks
But it's a small sacrifice to pay if it means being with Baby Rock.