Quite a Stash

Robbie and Maria don't realize it, but I am, at this very moment, sitting on their basement toilet, admiring the 1984 Detroit Tigers poster on the wall. Every boy in Michigan who was alive at that time has (or at least had) this exact poster. While most of us have discontinued hanging it on the wall some time ago, at least Robbie has continued to display this piece of the Tigers' glorious past. And while some would argue that displaying it in the basement bathroom area is not particularly prominent, I would counter that where else in the home would anyone have nearly as much time to sit and contemplate such a work of great importance? Here are a couple of thoughts I have gleamed from this iconic poster looking at it now, years after it came out: First of all, the 80's truly were the glory days of mustaches. Except for a stretch of earth which basically covers the former Ottoman Empire, the mustache today has fallen on hard times. But looking at the Tigers who had mustaches, I would argue that, fielding a team of only mustachioed players would still have provided the Tigers with a 90-win season. Consider the Tigers' top three starters - Morris, Petry, and Wilcox - all had mustaches. They won 19, 18, and 17 games respectively. Then add on top of that Cy Younger winnder Willie Hernandez, who had enough facial hair for two men...Dave Rozema and Doug Bair also flashed the 'stash. That is quite a pitching combo. Among the starters, only Trammell and Whitaker didn't have liphair. Parrish had some behind the plate. Gibby, Chet Lemon, and Larry Herndon all did. That's your outfield. Darrell Evans didn't have a stash, but you could have started Bergman instead, and that would have been a capable replacement starter. Third base had Brookens, but with a mustache void at SS and 2B, Brookens would probably have played 2B. That would have left Howard Johnson, mustachioed, available to play third, leaving only SS vacant. Somehow, we could have pulled somebody up from Toledo or Erie to fill the gap, I am sure.

The second observation I make from that poster was that Sparky Anderson sure did look old. When he died, he was 76. He died some time last year. So 1984 was 26 years ago. That would have made him 50 years old then. I swear he looks 76 back then. Every single hair was white as snow. I was shocked to hear that he was only 76 when he died, but looking at the poster, I think I am even more shocked that he was only 50 in 1984.