Nut Thinkings

Quite a Stash

2011-03-06T13:22:00.000-08:00

Robbie and Maria don't realize it, but I am, at this very moment, sitting on their basement toilet, admiring the 1984 Detroit Tigers poster on the wall. Every boy in Michigan who was alive at that time has (or at least had) this exact poster. While most of us have discontinued hanging it on the wall some time ago, at least Robbie has continued to display this piece of the Tigers' glorious past. And while some would argue that displaying it in the basement bathroom area is not particularly prominent, I would counter that where else in the home would anyone have nearly as much time to sit and contemplate such a work of great importance? Here are a couple of thoughts I have gleamed from this iconic poster looking at it now, years after it came out: First of all, the 80's truly were the glory days of mustaches. Except for a stretch of earth which basically covers the former Ottoman Empire, the mustache today has fallen on hard times. But looking at the Tigers who had mustaches, I would argue that, fielding a team of only mustachioed players would still have provided the Tigers with a 90-win season. Consider the Tigers' top three starters - Morris, Petry, and Wilcox - all had mustaches. They won 19, 18, and 17 games respectively. Then add on top of that Cy Younger winnder Willie Hernandez, who had enough facial hair for two men...Dave Rozema and Doug Bair also flashed the 'stash. That is quite a pitching combo. Among the starters, only Trammell and Whitaker didn't have liphair. Parrish had some behind the plate. Gibby, Chet Lemon, and Larry Herndon all did. That's your outfield. Darrell Evans didn't have a stash, but you could have started Bergman instead, and that would have been a capable replacement starter. Third base had Brookens, but with a mustache void at SS and 2B, Brookens would probably have played 2B. That would have left Howard Johnson, mustachioed, available to play third, leaving only SS vacant. Somehow, we could have pulled somebody up from Toledo or Erie to fill the gap, I am sure.

The second observation I make from that poster was that Sparky Anderson sure did look old. When he died, he was 76. He died some time last year. So 1984 was 26 years ago. That would have made him 50 years old then. I swear he looks 76 back then. Every single hair was white as snow. I was shocked to hear that he was only 76 when he died, but looking at the poster, I think I am even more shocked that he was only 50 in 1984.

Los Phoenix Border Guards

2011-03-06T08:51:00.000-08:00

What if sports teams updated their nicknames to reflect current qualities of the cities they were in? For example, Seattle would have to name a team the Seattle Baristas. Imagine an NBA with these possible teams out west:

1. Seattle Baristas

2. Portland Treehuggers

3. San Francisco Parade Marchers

4. San Diego Coyotes

5. Los Angeles Botox

6. Dallas Gunlovers

7. Phoenix Border Guards

I especially like the Phoenix Guards. Seeing how the NBA currently honors its Latino fans by sometimes putting "el" or "los" on the jersey instead of "the", I would like to see a "Los Border Guards" jersey. Imagine now these Eastern Conference teams:

1. Chicago Corruption

2. New York Stockbrokers

3. Minnesota Icefishermen

4. Detroit Foodstamps

5. Baltimore Blight

6. Washington Inequalities

7. Miami Defectors

8. Orlando Touristtrappers

9. Pittsburgh Rust

10. New Jersey Situations

11 .Atlanta Connecting Flights

12. Cleveland Jolted

And also, similar to the inexplicable naming of two CFL teams the Roughriders, there would be the Memphis and Kansas City Barbecues. Imagine those two teams facing off - it would be the Barbecue Superbowl. And, yes, I realize that the current NBA doesn't have franchises in all of these cities - yet.

**New Post*

2011-03-06T08:40:00.000-08:00

Hello to all my legions of readers. I've been in hiatus, it seems, judging from my last post, for over a year. Well, I have so many things to say. First of all, I was listening to a podcast the other day where Larry David was being interviewed. He said he carries a little notebook around with him at all times, so that when he gets an idea, he can jot it down and possibly use it in an episode somehow. I thought that was quite interesting because I do the same thing. Of course, I don't have any episodes to use my ideas in yet. But I thought it was nice and quaint for old man Larry David to be still going old school with his pen and paper, while most people would jot down their ideas in their androids or something. Well, if it's good enough for him, then it's good enough for me. Needless to say, I have a year's worth of ideas jotted down without having written anything. I am back refreshed, and ready to write, so let's go. Also, this week I was listening to a Bill Simmons podcast with Chuck Klosterman, and Klosterman forced Simmon's hand in announcing they are coming out with some sort of website for sports/pop culture where they will both be writing and they have hired a couple of other up and comers. Well, here's my play for the Simmon's website. Mr. Simmon's, I have had a following at one point of up to 8 readers, and while that number has fallen lately, I am sure I will have at least one or two readers of this post. So you might want to consider those numbers...just food for thought.

The Best of Nut

2009-12-02T16:41:00.000-08:00

I have done some thinking and have compiled a list of some of my favorite stories.

- James and the Giant Fireballs

- The Stove in the Bed Incident

- The Shopping Cart in the Snow Incident

- Horsewhispering in Wilmore

- UPS delivery for communion

- The Mountain Dew and Blinds Affair

- Falling into the Arms of the Voluptuous Housewife

- Breaking the Seal before a three-hour lecture

- Keeping the School safe from Terrorists

- The Mixed Medication Caper

- Washing Clothes in English Channel

- Swimming with the Carps

- The Low Kneepads

- The Cross Country Race

- I only have one Knob!

- The Kentucky Meth Lab

- The Sauna Visit

- Maria's Keys in the Trash

- Sleeping behind Kmart

- The Lost Luggage F-Bomb

- Locked Away in the Professor's Bathroom

- The Curious Incident of the Stairwell and the Broken Glass

- Bloop

- Fast Train, Long Bridge

- Spaghetti on the Ceiling

- Macaroni in the Cleavage

More to follow...

Suicidal Neons

2009-11-28T05:50:00.000-08:00

As a trip to any doctor's office will prove, a fish aquarium is a lovely and uplifting piece of room decor. Kids love to get right up to the glass and look at the fish, while the adults can serenely sit back and enjoy the fish from afar. Which is why I and my sisters wanted to recreate this idyllic scenario at our own house. We already had an aquarium - we weren't messing around with a bowl- we were going straight for the big time. After having scrubbed it and filled it with random stones, pieces of wood, and fake plants, it was time for a trip to the pet store for some fish.

The end product was a UN of fish aquariums. There were guppies, goldfish, neons (my favorite), and all sorts of other types of fish. They coexisted peacefully. It was beautiful. It was like San Francisco.

Then, in one fateful morning, all hell broke loose. At first, I noticed that one of the goldfish had given birth. My dad was the first to spot the miniscule creatures swimming about. After he called us over, we saw that same goldfish eat its young. That's not a good sign. Other fish were trying to get in the action by this point, and all I could do on the outside was scream and yell. Now, it was at this exact point that I noticed other fish were starting to get what I would describe as "woozy." Turns out that what they had was a terminal fish disease called ick. Ick is like AIDS to fish. Once you get it, there's no surviving. Guppies were swimming sideways, our fantail stopped using its tail - it was a pandemic. The ick was spreading, and spreading fast. The neons decided they would rather take their chances on the outside, and multiple neons actually swam to the surface and jumped out of the tank. I remember running around and gathering up the suicidal neons and dropping them back in the water. That water may be contaminated with ick, I thought, but I knew that those fish needed water. That's the one thing I know. Well, in the end, the neons got it too, and in the final analysis, every single fish had been wiped out. About 20 of them, in all, I reckon. What started out as a joyous morning, with the celebration of new life, ended up being the worst fish disaster in Cole household history. We were flushing the toilet like crazy that day.

Look-A-Likes, Part 3

2009-09-30T10:02:00.000-07:00

Wait, is that Olympian and best basketball player on the earth, Robbie Bolton? Look at those cheesy grins, strained foreheads, feigning interest in the shot...

Look-A-Likes, Part 2

2009-09-30T09:23:00.000-07:00

Notice the similar love patches, dimples, and cheeks. Could be twins missing from birth. Marcus Thames, of the Detroit Tigers, is from the South, and Quillen is famously part German, and part Billhilly...Both are power hitters who use their country-strong strengh to knock baseballs and softballs out of the ballpark. But if they don't get a hold of one, they will most likely be sitting down 3 pitches later. Ok, so they have different skin complexions. But Obama's President, so that stuff doesn't matter any more.

Look-A-Likes, Part 1

2009-09-30T08:54:00.001-07:00

One of my greatest talents - Nee, my greatest talent - is having the ability to see people and recognize features in them that famous celebrities have. Now, this is actually a mysterious and cryptic talent, whose workings I myself am not fully able to understand. For example, whenever I have seen a baby, I have never once thought in my head or muttered aloud that said baby has the features of mommy or daddy or grandparent X, or whatever. My talent apparently doesn't go that far. I can't spot actual genetic relation, I can only detect further, more distant similarities. I should probably be working on a police force, now that I think about it...So anyways, I am now starting a series of posts intended on highlighting people I know who have famous look-a-likes. Some people might be displeased. Others will be flattered. But don't dispute my abilities. I can see things others can't see. The first entry is obvious. This is publicist to the stars, Jon Gosselin!

Baby Rocky Poem - Wisdom Stew Mix

2009-08-17T09:51:00.000-07:00

First name Benjamin, second name Rocky
Some call me confident, others call me cocky
with such a name, I might turn out brawny,
Ain't no way I'll end up scrawny.
You don't mess with the Rock, do you smell what he's cookin'?
I can catch up to you, even if you're bookin'
But my parents won't let me be no bully,
They'll ensure that I blossom fully

From the first time I laid eyes on my daddy, I thought he was a hunter-gatherer,
and maybe possibly also not much of a latherer
But I know he will love me, and I'll do my best to behave, man
even as I suppress the urge to call you "Captain Caveman!"
When I laid eyes on my mommy, I knew I had been smiled upon by fate,
but I did start to wonder if it was because of her I was born two weeks late
I know she'll love me and give me all her attention;
and if need be, I'll let her win in Settlers in order to relieve a little tension.
Mommy, I'm already looking forward to when you drive Daddy around in a motorbike,
I hope you guys join a gang that you like
When I'm old enough, I might want to join, too
Although I might need a special-sized helmet, according to you.

Daddy hopes I'll be a biker, or maybe a runner, or maybe a hiker.
Together one day we can do the Appalachians,
or maybe we can climb the highest mountain in the nation.
What's it called? - oh yeah, Mt. McKinley
After all, my daddy looks like Arctic man, William Penly
Paps wants me to be a big leaguer like Bob Brenly,
while Mommy just wants me to be fun and friendly.

I know my family will take great interest in my development,
by the time I start school, I will be in my element.
For such a great family, I need to thank my lucky stars,
even if Daddy is overdoing already by teaching me how to roll my R's
All I wanna do is get some Z's
drink a little milk, and then poop and pee.
Daddy, I don't mean to be a hater, but there's time enough for those rolled R's later.
I mean, I want to learn all about life, love, and the Cupid's arrow,
So why are you so interested in getting me to say "Perrrrro"?
Please stop trying to get me to perform these odd tasks,
why don't you listen to a few more Bill Simmons podcasts...
No, Daddy, I'm just playin' - I want to be wise like you.
So tell me, can you combine your wisdom and serve it up in a stew?

Mommy and Daddy, I am excited to be here on earth,
I'm glad God chose you for my birth
I don't know how it all works, but He wanted you both to be my Daddy and Mommy,
if I had other parents, my name might have been Kwame
I might have been born in Italy, eating salami...
But I wouldn't have had it any other ways,
God has blessed me in these few days.
Here's to hoping the Tigers see playoff action against the Tampa Bay Rays.
Dad, grow your hair out till I graduate-let's vote as a family - 1 no, 2 yea's

Wait just a minute - Dad, what happened to your hair?
Looks like Mommy's vote carries twice the weight, but that seems fair.
What? - you did it for a snickers bar?
I hope it really satisfied, and the energy took you far
Because Guinness Records ain't callin' if you ain't got the locks
But it's a small sacrifice to pay if it means being with Baby Rock.

What I emailed to Bill Simmons

2009-08-04T07:41:00.000-07:00

My good friend, who got me onto listening to your podcasts a few years ago, and I have a healthy competition to see who can keep up to date with your podcasts more. He generally has more on his plate than I do right now, so I usually am at least one ahead of him at any given time. Last weekend, I was excited to download the 2-part NBA podcast with Bucher and Steiny Mo, but since my friend's wife was in the hospital giving birth to their first child, I figured I could get my podcast listening in at a leisurely pace. When I went to the hospital to visit the 4-hour old boy, imagine my surprise when my buddy asks me if I have listened to the NBA special yet! The labor was long and arduous. It took all night. I couldn't picture an scenario of how my friend could have had heard your podcast while simultaneously being all there for the birthing process. Apparently after the whole birthing thing was over, the new mother and the mother-in-law tried to get a bit of rest, and that's when my friend saw his opportunity. He quietly fished out his earbuds and stuck them in his ears, and while the others were sleeping in the dark hospital room, my friend was quietly in his own NBA fantasy world! I think it's safe to say that his wife detests professional sports, so this entire action would have been performed with a CIA-like stealth, to be sure.

Newspapers

2009-07-21T07:06:00.000-07:00

Lately there have been a lot of media types discussing the impending doom of the newspaper industry, bla, bla, bla. I hear radio shows about it, books are being written about it, you name it. What really gets on my nerves is that the young consumer is constantly being blamed for the newspapers' predicament. This young consumer is, as they put it, hugely interested in getting the news, but he/she is getting it from online sources now. Well, sorry, but you can't be blaming me for your business model. Make a better product. something. I mean, I look at my local paper, the Jackson Citizen Patriot, and I can hardly find one reason for reading it. Sorry, but I could care less about the local sports scores, and that is probably the only thing the paper does better than a bigger, more internationally-known paper. You're not going to be seeing who won the Hanover Horton vs. Grass Lake basketball game in the New York Times. But, then again, who cares about that stuff outside a small number of coaches and players, and maybe friends and family?
The fact of the matter is, the economy determines what is and isn't a viable product, and some industries end up dying off. Sometimes, it seems tragic, but in the end, we're all better off. Look at Kodak. They were the camera behemoths, until new, better technology came along and rendered these old-school cameras virtually obsolete. Little kids know instinctively that, if you take a picture, they want to look at it and see how it looks. We didn't have that when I was a kid. Look at the Detroit automakers. They've been making crappy, expensive models for some time now, and now they have done major, major downsizing. But in the end, if we get off our gas guzzlers, maybe our children won't have to be constantly fighting oil wars in the Middle East and Asia for the next 100 years.
So too with the newspapers. They will need to adapt, or collapse. The strong will survive, and the crappy ones will die, probably. As of right now, it's only old people who read most local newspapers, and once they die out, you can say bye to your local rag, pointless high school sports scores, and the crazy guy who writes letters to the editor twice a week.

Title Tracks for my New Album

2009-07-09T11:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, I 've been working on some songs for my next studio album. It's semi-autobiographical. Here are the titles:
1. Take a Ride on the Rodney Rollercoaster
2. That Dr. Pepper is not for you
3. You're more than just a Beautiful Body, Torie
4. Floating on Lake Michigan
5. Are you in charge of the drinks?
6. There's a difference between f***ing and making love
7. Joe D has lost the Midas Touch
8. Ohhhhhhhh, Johnnnnnny!
9. All Good Latinos Dance to Reggaeton
10. Not a Penny More, Not a Penny Less
11. I'll be Picking Up the Hippy Milk
12. $100, Walmart
13. Stop picking at your scab, Gorbi

A Bad Time To Be A Celeb

2009-07-09T07:08:00.000-07:00

As I sit around, pondering the recent spate of celebrity deaths, I find myself wondering if this was in fact the most prolific fortnight of celebrity deaths ever. We've got Michael Jackson, Steve McNair, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Billy Mays, Robert MacNamara, and Academy Award-winning Karl Malden. Of course, the first thing I notice is that this was a bad time for people with "Mc" or "Mac" in their last names. So if you have are a "Mac", best beware. But, anyhoo, there may be only one other time in history that rivals this fortnight, and that would be the period from March to April, 1994, in which John Candy, Eugene Ionesco, Kurt Cobain, Richard Nixon, and writer Ralph Ellison all passed away. If you extend that period to the last week of February to the first week of May 1994, you will also have comedian Bill Hicks, George Peppard, Jaqueline Kennedy Onassis, and race car driver Ayrton Senna. Quite a collection of people indeed. I would like to think that they all faked their deaths in order to get away from the celebrity spotlight, and that they are all now living together in an underground lair, along with Tupac, Princess Diana, and Elvis. Of course, Elvis seems to be the only person who is occasionally willing to go above ground and get the groceries for everyone, but sometimes he has a hankering for fast food, so he'll stop in at a Burger King now and again, and most of the time, it's in Kalamazoo. So, if I had to guess on the whereabouts of this underground lair, I would suspect it's somewhere in the western Michigan region.

July 4th, Nutstyle

2009-07-04T12:56:00.000-07:00

I have spent the last three days holed up in a conference room with 50 of my closest friends. We wanted to commemorate American Independance the right way, so we re-created the hammering out of the language used in the Declaration of Independance. I don't know if I was being exactly true to history, because I got shot down pretty quickly when I suggested that the document be written in German, and also when I tried to get the voting age down to 6. Also, nobody seemed to like it when I suggested that insects be considered 1/34 of a human.
Today, now that we have the document exactly the way we want it, we will spend the rest of the day by dressing up in our time-period costumes (I am John Adams, by the way), and we will sign the Declaration, declaring ourselves free from the British.

Saying Sorry...

2009-07-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

Gee, I was just looking through my last few posts, and I noticed too many pictures of soccer players. I'll try to tone it down in the future...

Why Does Quillen Dominate Settlers?

2009-07-03T09:46:00.001-07:00

I've been trying to figure out what accounts for Quillen's dominance in this game. He has insisted, on more than one occasion, that he has no grand strategy or gameplan, but I remain dubious. I wish we kept better stats, because I would like to know what his winning percentage really is. Perhaps, he has a very high Settlers-IQ, similar to how people talk about basketball IQ. Maybe he really does just take a survey of the lay of the land, and perhaps he can make moves in relation to what everyone else is doing. Of course, everyone who plays the game has to do that at some level, but that's where I think maybe his hightened Settlers IQ comes into play. He is a juggernaut of the game, always believing that he will win, similar to the Lakers. I am just happy to be in the mix. Sometimes I win, more often than not, I don't. But my goals are just to be a contender, like the Spurs. Chip is always a contender, too, but his default score is basically 9 points. Why does Quillen come in and steal all our games? You know those teams who always make the Finals, only to not hold up the trophy? Like the Pistons, for most of the last 7 years? That's Chip. Ben, on the other hand, has had a long and steady progression, to the point where he is now always competing. Sometimes, much losing will incur before the growth occurs. It's like he's playing this unorthodox way, always shooting up three pointers, and if everything bounces his way, he'll have success. He's like the Orlando Magic. Robbie tries to use stats to his advantage. He actually tried to record the number of moves it takes before games are finished, and average them out, so that he could have an idea of when the typical game is likely to end. This new approach to nerdiness stats-devotion reminds me of Daryl Morel of the Houston Rockets. Meanwhile, Riggs is the type of player who will go out with a gameplan, and usually try to act out that gameplan every time. If it works, then he'll do fine. If it doesn't work, then he won't. He reminds me of the Celtics. As long as everyone stays healthy, things will work out fine.

My Genius List

2009-07-03T09:30:00.000-07:00

I've just been thinking about Michael Jackson, and all of the accolades he's been receiving since the news of his death about a week ago. Much criticism has come as a result of the media's glossing over basically the last 20 years of his life, where his life became a tragedy. Almost all the press has focused on his early career. The word "genius" is tossed around, but I would have to agree that he was a musical and performing genius. Which got me thinking - who is a genius and what constitutes one? Another guy who people talk about as being a comedy genius is Larry David. I would also have to agree with that. But who would be on my current genius list? Who would be on yours? The criteria are that they would have had to be alive in the last 100 years. Sure, Beethoven and Mozart could be on the list, but I am talking more about modern geniuses. Here's my list:
1. the aforementioned Michael Jackson, the perfect mix of music and dancing
2. Larry David, because he can weave seemingly completely scenarios and storylines together.
3. Albert Einstein. Of course, everybody thinks of this guy as a genius, but he was for me because he conceived of a universe that most of us can't wrap our heads around completely.
4. Michael Jordan - 6 championships. The best basketball player ever
5. LeBron James - he has the potential to be that great, but still lacks a consistent outside shot. But I think his basketball IQ is off the charts.
6. Zinedine Zidane - People refer to basketball IQ, but why not baseball IQ, or soccer IQ? Clearly, this man had a little bit of genius to be able to see the field and create space the way he did.
7. Sufjan Stevens - you may be surprised to see me put this one on here. I am not necessarily his biggest fan, but there is really a composing genius in his work.
8. Bill Gates- I am lucky if I can turn on the computer. This man turned his computer genius into billions of dollars.
And so there it is. Am I missing anyone? Probably. You tell me.

Would you like to sporcle?

2009-06-17T11:48:00.000-07:00

It's called Sporcle, and it's educational, entertaining, and addicting! After just two weeks of knowing about this website, I feel I have equaled the amount of learning I received during my K-12 education. Here are some of my favorite quizzes:

countries of the world- http://www.sporcle.com/games/world.php
states of the US - http://www.sporcle.com/games/states.php
NFL teams - http://www.sporcle.com/games/nflteams.php
the Periodic Table - http://www.sporcle.com/games/elements.php
Famous Explorers - http://www.sporcle.com/games/famousexplorers.php

U.S. Sports Trends

2009-06-17T10:40:00.000-07:00

ESPN.com has a section called Sportsnation, in which one can vote on a selection of various topics, and then see how the rest of the nation has voted, breaking the results down even to state-by-state. One intriguing question I found a few days ago: Would you rather see Team USA win a World Cup or a gold medal in hockey? The result: the majority of the nation voted for a World Cup! But it was by a fairly slim margin. In fact, most of the North/Midwest voted for a hockey gold, including my state of Michigan, but I found the question to be intriguing because both hockey and soccer are on the upswing in popularity. Over the past year, I detected more buzz about hockey than I did in previous years, including last year, where one could have argued that hockey was no longer in the top 4 of sports. But they have stars now, Crosby is awesome, and even I have to admit that I watched my first two hockey games in over a decade, having seen games 6 and 7 in the Finals. Both of those games had absolute ferocious endings, and I realized this is a very entertaining sport! It's similar to soccer in that a one-goal difference will probably result on a flurry of activity as time is winding down, which is exactly what happened in both games 6 and 7. Fantastic stuff! These are world-class athletes performing at very high levels. You have to enjoy that. I suspect that ESPN has some kind of hockey deal in the works, and that is why they had been talking it up over the past year, but in the end, the playoffs were a dream scenario for the NHL, and I know the final game got huge ratings for NBC.
Similarly, soccer in the USA is coming around. I base this on the fact that the European championships were aired on ESPN - every single game. That was unheard of 10 years ago. I saw the Finals in Chicago last year at the ESPN Center, and the place was packed. The only slight regret I had was a twang of treachery as I was rooting for Spain against Germany, my second homeland, because I supposedly had a jersey riding on the outcome (a jersey I have yet to see).
Another reason I see soccer's popularity increasing is in the fact that the ESPN family of networks has been airing all of the Champion's League matches in the last couple of years. Once again, unheard of 10 years ago. Now, I can't see every match unless I had ESPN Deportes, or some of the other random channels, but at least one big match is broadcast during each of the rounds, and coverage is dedicated to showing highlights of what happened in the other matches. My last reason for demonstrating soccer's upswing is that ESPN now dedicates one night a week to showing MLS matches, and it also shows Team USA's World Cup qualifiers. Now all we need is a big-time U.S. born soccer star, which we don't have yet. Our best players are probably Landon Donovan and Josy Altidore, and that's not saying much. Altidore is a player to watch, though. He's probably the best we've got right now. Soccer needs its Tiger Woods or Sidney Crosby - as the Sportsnation poll indicates, we are on the prescipice of paying attention.

And the Winner Is....

2009-06-16T10:02:00.000-07:00

I nominate and, since really I am the only judge, simultaneously award the Green Nutty Granola Award to Robbie Bolton. This award goes to the greenest Nutbar of them all, and this year, it goes to Robbie because of his steadfast dedication to biking to work. Now, I am a big fan of biking myself, but even I have marveled at his dedication to biking not only when the weather is fair, but quite honestly, in winter conditions that would seem to me to make biking almost impossible. When so much snow had fallen that schools were cancelled, Robbie still made the trek in. I tried biking once in snow this past winter, and I almost slipped and fell 3 times just in travelling 3 blocks. Robbie, I hope your biking continues to inspire others to see the benefits of biking.
It really is a completely win-win situation. First, you are getting your daily exercise from your commute at the same time, which saves you time because you wouldn't have to get in your exercise later in the day. When I lived in Kentucky, I didn't bike once in three years - I just simply hopped in the car and went to my destination. This is also a reason why my weight kept creeping upwards in those years. Now, I bike as much as possible because with 70% of Americans overweight, most of us could stand to burn a few calories. Secondly, biking saves you money. Save the car for trips when you really need it. Bike everywhere else. It's amazing how much gas we waste on simple trips around town. Thirdly, biking makes you feel closer to nature because you are outside experiencing it. Fourthly, if you are biking in a town, especially, I would contend that you could get to most places you need to go within 15-20 minutes, depending on the town. Even Manhattan isn't extremely big, surface-wise. I bet you could get from 120th Street to Broadway in 20 minutes. My fifth and final reason for biking is that while cars need roads, bikes don't necessarily. You can cut down on travel time when you don't have to wait around for the light to turn green, or if you can cut across the woods for a shortcut...
So, once again, good work, Robbie

What Board Games Teach Us About the Economy

2009-06-16T09:45:00.000-07:00

Three games, and you'll know everything you need to know about life and the world. First of all, Monopoly teaches us that financial institutions are invincible. The game's banker can't go bankrupt, according to the rules. If he/she runs out of money, more of it can be produced by writing more on blank pieces of paper.
The game of Risk, secondly, teaches us that if you want to be the master of the universe, you had better not go for it all in one turn. Because, if you fail, it will be easy for the next player to wipe you out.
Thirdly, Settlers of Catan teaches us that, in life, you will probably won't be so harassed if you don't live in a popular part of town, and in the end, it's probably best to be located near sheep.

London Olympics - Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down, Klaus?

2009-05-19T14:12:00.000-07:00

Today I decided to put away the headphones during my bikeride, and just to let my mind make up its own music and cacophony of random thoughts and ideas. I remember having a ton of great potential blog ideas, but of course, I've forgotten them all by now. The only thing I can say for sure is that biking without headphones does seem to provide great ideas. At one point, I realized that I would be soon forgetting everything that was popping into my head, and I thought it would be fantastic if only there were a device that could record my words and simultaneously delivered a blog post without my having to come back later and actually write the words down on a keyboard.
Of all the ideas that popped into my head, I remember actually just one: and that one dealt with the Olympics, and how London is going to come off looking in three years time. You see, in 2004, the Summer Games were in Athens, which was cool, seeing that it is the origin of the whole idea of the games, going back to 776 B.C. Watching the marathon being run on the original path from Marathon to Athens was great, except for that psycho Irish dude who attacked the lead runner with a few miles to go...But nonetheless, Athens was a good venue due to the historical aspect. Then, in 2008, Beijing put on a fantastic show. The world's next superpower was intent on putting on a coming-out party worthy of its soon-to-be status. The opening ceremony will not soon be matched. It was, by a longshot, the coolest opening ceremony ever, which goes to prove that, despite their human rights' violations, these Commies can put on a good show. Which brings me to London. There is no way they can match what happened in Beijing. Beijing is like Jay-Z stealing the show at Glastonbury last year (unheard of for a rock festival-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrDIOVXx-y8&feature=related), while London will be like Noel Gallagher, unable to mount a response. If the 2008 Olympics were Beijing and China's coming out party to the world, it has to be like what it must have been like when Rupaul, Richard Simmons, or Perez Hilton came out - "OK, world, I'm loud, and I'm proud!"
The London Olympics will probably be just fine. But Beijing will be a tough act to follow.

The Geo Awards

2009-02-26T07:08:00.000-08:00

Well, the Oscars were last week, and everyone is in the award-giving mood. Even the geography community doles out annual awards - who would have thought? Let's see who was this year's winners of a Mappy.

1. Best Ocean - Atlantic. This was a bit of an upset, as most people had picked the Pacific to take it this year.
2. Best Sea - Meditteranean. With its warm and wonderful climate, the Med is always a contender.
3. Best Lake - Loch Ness. Total surprise. There are bigger, deeper, and wetter lakes, but none of them have prehistoric monsters living in them.
4. Best Bay - Bay of Bengal.
5. Best America - North. You can blame it on the ethnocentric West.
6. Best Firth - Firth of Forth. Not much competition in this one.
7. Best Canal- Suez. Erie shut out again.
8. Best River - Thames. It had 8 HRs in a row at one point last year.
9. Best Reef- Great Barrier, in Australia
10. Best Gorge- Red River, in Kentucky
11. Best Canyon - Fraser, in British Columbia. Major, major upset
12. Best Wharf - Fisherman's, in San Francisco. expected winner
13. Best Pier - Navy, in Chicago, Illinois. Edged out Palace Pier, in Brighton, England
14. Best Strait- Bering, between Alaska and Russia. This is the first win for the Bering, having knocked off the Gibraltar and Magellan powerhouses.
15. Best Isthmus - Panama. The competition was a bit weak in this category this year.
16. Best Cape - Good Hope. In the year of hope and change, what else? This was, however, a surprisingly strong category, including Capes of Cod, Verde, Canaveral, and Fear.
17. Best Lick - Big Bone, northern Kentucky. Beat out French and Salt.
18. Best Dune - Sleeping Bear, along Lake Michigan
19. Best Delta- Mississippi. Edged out Nile
20. Best Aurora - Australis.

Great Games of the Commodore 64 Era

2009-02-15T19:17:00.001-08:00

I am lucky in that my dad was a techy sort of guy, and so was everybody he worked with, too. Back in the day, this translated into tangible benefits for myself, as our family had a Commodore 64, and so did all of my relatives. Software was easy to copy, and that meant lots of games for me. So here are my favorites:
1. Hardball - I can still remember some of the line-ups. I was the blue team, my friends were the Red team. Contos and Barnes were my big 3rd and 4th hitters. DeSoto was the speedy lead-off hitter. I spent many hours with my friends battling away on this baseball classic.
2. 4th and Inches - This was a classic and one of the predecessors of the Madden Franchise. The really only game of note between 4th and Inches and Madden was Tecmo Bowl, which came out a few years afterwards.
3. Summer Games - This was the Summer Olympics at its best. There were running games, diving, swimming, pole vaulting, gymnastics, skeet shooting. Of course, it was a bit dumb, in that you had to press buttons as fast as you could, and that would determine how well you would do. Pretty basic stuff, but nothing beat getting a gold, and a world record to boot!
4. Where in the World is Carmen Diego? - This game was a genuine geography caper! I learned lots of good info from this one.
5. Pitfall- This wasn't always my type of game, but I got into it for a while, and got pretty good.
6. One on One - Dr. J vs. Larry Bird
7. Pole Position - a classic formula one racing game
8. Test Drive - This is how I learned about high-end luxury vehicles. It also is the best driving-around-a-mountain driving simulator ever devised. Here you were expected to drive your Lamborghini, Porsche, or Lotus as fast as you could, while weaving in between traffic, and simultaneously being mindful of the giant brown wall to your right, and the never-ending cliff drop-off on your left. This game was mind-blowing in its graphics - at least that's what I thought as a kid. Now, it looks ridiculous.
9. Dig Dug
10. Law of the West - You the Sheriff of this stinkin' town? This game was great - nothing like watiting for the game to load, knowing all the while that lurking behind the stagecoach were the Daltons, guns a-blazin'.

Welcome to the New and Improved Blog!

2009-02-12T15:36:00.000-08:00

This being my first post on this new site, I would like to welcome you all to the new and improved layout. I think it will prove to be more user-friendly, and I think some good thinkings shall take place here. please resubscribe!

The History of Soccer Volley

2009-02-12T11:25:00.000-08:00

Who could have imagined, back in the late 1990s, when two young, enterprising, and creative college kids came together and laid down the foundation for a simple game, that the sport that they spawned would have gone global in just one decade's time? Jason Quillen, originally of Southgate, Michigan, and Ryan Cole, originally of Jackson, Michigan, met at Spring Arbor University, in South-Central Michigan. It was there that they, partly out of boredom and the willingness to try something new, that they decided to come up with a new game, involving a tennis court, and a volleyball. Through time, they developed and enhanced their game, forming rules and establishing game play. Gradually, they were able to convince their friends to take up the new game, which combined elements of soccer, tennis, and volleyball, and which consisted of equal parts of skill and fitness. Over time, they formed leagues and tournaments, and the sport grew virally. Kids who were out playing tennis saw this strange game being played on the courts next to them, and the next thing you knew, those kids were out there playing soccer volley with their friends, and so on, and so on.
Along the way, principal players developed their signature moves, and an entire jargon sprung up surrounding the sport. A "Pete Tong" occurred when a player would completely shank a kick, and hit the ball way too hard and far. It was named after the British DJ, Pete Tong, because he only plays the "massive hits." The "Husband and Wife" took place when a playable ball would fall in between the two teammate, during doubles play. It was cynically called a "Husband and Wife" because there was "no communication" between the teammates. An Ace on serve came to be known as a "Patrick Swayze" because the ball seemingly came to float in like a "Ghost", as if nobody could see it. One of the major innovations during those early days was instrumented by Jason Quillen, who would approach the net and lightly flick the ball over with his toes. This move came to be known as "the Massagio", because a tender touch was required. One of the other major innovations in those early years came from the sport's first true superstar, Alex Teal. He developed a highly effective sort of hop-kick serve, which came to be known as "the Leprechaun". This type of serve is highly effective, but extremely difficult to master. Other moves came to be mastered by certain players. The "shoulder slam" was one of James Walsh's most effective moves, while the "shoulder flick" was devised by Miriam Quillen, one of the sport's first female players. Female players obviously had a physical disadvantage as they could not easily perform a chest trap, so the "shoulder flick" quickly became a staple move among them. It proved to be so successful that even male players needed to master the move in order to reach their full potential.
Somehow over the years, the sport made its way across the world's borders. Nobody really definitively how it made its way to Brazil, but many people argue that the sport made its southern migration during John Paul Anderson's time spent in Central America. He lived next to the goalkeeper of the Costa Rican national team, and it is speculated that some information changed hands. South America has taken the sport, which is called "futvollei" there, to new levels, just like Indians and Pakistanis learned the sport of cricket from the British, and have come to dominate the sport. In 2007, the World Cup of FootVolley took place in Valencia, Spain. Check out the video of Spain vs. Brazil. It is the best massagio I have ever seen. The South American and European rules have clearly evolved slightly differently, but the essential elements are there for sure. One thing the North American version might have to consider implementing are the dancing bikini cheerleaders, and the umbrella rest areas for the players. But no matter how you slice it, this little game has come a long way.